(How this simple thinking led me to quit cigarettes)
Going back 5 years, I asked myself a simple question: Who controls you? The obvious answer was of course. “I control my self.” Then after the obvious question was: (If i have control over my self, why is that i still smoke cigarettes or continue to enable habits that are detrimental to my health??) I had no answer… So after those 2 questions I realized that I was no longer in control of myself. But who was?
I set out to find the answer. I came with a simple solution to figure out if I was able to gain control of my self. I felt that if I could give up something random for 30 days that it would no longer have control over me. So I decided to give up meat. Yes meat. It made no sense but I felt that it was the best place to start. Now, I had no real reason to give up meat but it seemed that this way it would make the challenge even more difficult.
So I set out to remove meat from my diet for 30 days… It was the hardest thing I had ever done in terms of fasting. Not many options out there especially if you are constantly traveling with a full time job. My family didn’t understand what I was doing… My guy friends were teasing me… My parents thought I went crazy… Needless to say I did it. 30 days and I was done. I felt powerful. I felt that I had gained some control over my self. I really just felt accomplished and now I wanted to do it again but with another thing. The next thing I chose to quit changed my life forever but I didn’t look at it as quitting this time. I simply convinced my mind that i would not even give this “thing” power of me. I simply saw it as a challenge and didn’t give it much thought. I chose to not smoke another cigarette again. I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t count the days. I just wanted to erase any thought of “it” and to have “it” simply disappear from my thought process.
I had been smoking for 5 years up to that point. I promised myself that I would never put another cigarette in my mouth and that was the last I thought about “it”. It was roughly about 2 weeks in before my close friends first noticed that I hadn’t smoked a single cigarette. One of my friends asked me, “What happened to you!? You haven’t smoked a cigarette this whole trip.” (trip to NYC) I looked at him and just said “I don’t know what you’re talking about” my other friend looked at me and I didn’t have to explain anything to him he just understood it. He just smiled and extended his hand to give me a “pound” props with a closed fist and looked away. The first friend that asked me about it had this really confused look to him and I just smiled back at him and we did not speak of it the whole trip. I felt proud inside but tried to not show it. I wanted to talk about it, about this accomplishment but there was nothing to be proud of. I just stopped doing something that I shouldn’t have been doing in the first place. I realized at that moment that thinking about it even in the slightest way was a mistake. So i choose to bury it and never think about it. Months had passed and random people would ask me if I wanted a cigarette and I wouldn’t say the words “I quit.” I would just say. “No I’m fine I don’t smoke.” When they would look at me surprised and would want to start asking me about it. I would simply just say I never smoked before and switch the topic.
Now this might not be conventional in a social setting but it worked about 6 months until the point where I felt comfortable that I would never touch another cigarette again. I realized I had beat these “pieces of tobacco soaked in chemicals, rolled in white paper.” I realized that it was controlling me for 5 years. Cigarette vs Human. It shouldn’t be a fair match at all but that rolled up paper has more power than some people think. I chose to be stronger than “it” and I have been for 5 years now. Anyway that is the back story to my journey of letting things go and gaining more control of myself.
Now I will try Television for 40 days and any type of visual media such as Netflix, Youtube and such. I will post my experiences of this journey along with flashbacks on other things I have let go in the past.
P.S. Feel free to comment for more advice, i would be more than happy to help.